Why We Want to Adopt (Again)

We have already gotten some questions from people regarding our motivations for adopting. And we understand why people are curious...we obviously can have our "own" biological children (i.e. Abel!), so it may seem odd to some people that we would choose adoption over having another biological child. 

So in no particular order, here are some reasons that Aaron and I have decided together, before the Lord, to adopt our next child:

• We know the need that is out there. There are children who need homes. That is the bottom line. There are children all over this country and all over this world who cannot (for various reasons) be taken care of by their birthparents. They need parents...and we desire another child. Adoption makes perfect sense in our minds. 

• If God allows us to adopt another child, we believe it will serve as a testimony to Ivy and Israel (and our fourth child) that adoption wasn't a "second best plan" for us. Aaron and I do not view adoption as inferior to having biological children. We are guessing that our adopted children will wrestle with that at some point in their lives...wondering, "Did they only adopt me because they couldn't have their 'own'? Would they rather have had their 'own'?" By adopting another child now, we think we will be able to answer that question with a real testimony. No...we would not rather have our "own." We see both adoption and having biological children equally. Both are amazing, legitimate, blessed ways of having children. And when we really think about it, none of our children are "ours"...all of them have been given to us by God in order to raise them and teach them about Him. 

• We have heard from adoption "experts" that it is very good for adopted children to have adopted siblings. They can relate to them, and they are less likely to feel "out of place" in a family. (This is not to say in any way that families with only one adopted child are inferior or will necessarily have problems.) But since we already have two adopted children, we feel that we have more of a responsibility than other people to adopt again. Our fourth child will automatically have two siblings with whom he/she can relate! They will be able to have the shared experience of having a birthmother and birthfather (whom they do not live with) and of growing up in a home with parents who are not their biological parents. What a huge thing that is, and how awesome that our adopted children will hopefully be able to work through and talk through some of those issues together someday!

• Aaron and I desire to spend our lives doing things with an eternal perspective. We are trying, with God's grace, to base our decisions in this life on their eternal value (i.e. "Will this matter in eternity??") We can think of almost nothing else that compares to adoption in light of eternity. We will essentially be giving a home to a child who, if we didn't adopt him/her, would possibly grow up in a non-Christian home and possibly never hear the clear Gospel message. We know that God can do whatever He pleases, and He could easily place the child in a different Christian home if we didn't adopt him/her. However, the bottom line is, we will be teaching our children the clear Gospel message in our home (by God's grace), and we desire at least one more child...so why not adopt one who may not hear the clear gospel message in another home? We know that understanding and believing the true Gospel message makes ALL the difference in light of eternity... the difference between Heaven and Hell. If God would see fit to use us to communicate His Gospel to another child, we would be so honored and grateful.

• We are very familiar with the adoption process. Many families would love to adopt, but a couple of things are holding them back. They either see the adoption process as too daunting or complicated, or they are somewhat fearful of adopting because of various movies and adoption "horror" stories about birthparents changing their minds. Those reasons are valid...the adoption process is complicated and daunting, and sometimes adoptions do "fall through." But because we have been through the process twice before (and have had a failed adoption ourselves), we simply know the ins-and-outs of it. We know which criminal background checks we need. We know how and where to get fingerprinted. We know which grants to apply for. We know how a homestudy works. We know a lot about many different agencies and how they work. We know how open adoptions and closed adoptions work (we have one of each). So again...with all of this knowledge that we have (by the grace of God), we feel a responsibility and privilege to use this knowledge to give another child a home. If we don't use this knowledge we have been given, what good is it? As for the possibility of another failed adoption? We know it could happen, so we are just trusting the Lord that if He allows that to happen, that He would draw us closer to Him as a result of it.

• We truly love adoption. That's all there is to it. And we pray that this post does not come across prideful or arrogant in any way, but rather serve as testimony as to how unbelievably blessed we have been by God in the past (with all three of our children), and how we desire to be wise stewards of the blessings, knowledge, resources, and experiences that God has given us. We are not totally ruling out more biological children in the future, but this time...we're choosing to adopt...knowing of course, that this is all in God's hands. To Him be the glory.