My Babies and Babywise

I love Babywise. And now that we've used the "Babywise system" on all three of my kids and have seen some really great results, I think I can write down some of my thoughts about it...what exactly we did, why we did it, and how we did it.

Babywise is the title of a book written by Gary Ezzo, but when most people say "Babywise," they aren't exactly referring to the book specifically, but more to the system and techniques that the book entails.

The basic premise of the book is that the large majority of healthy babies are born with the capacity to sleep through the night between seven and nine weeks old. However, babies themselves do not know how to organize their sleep time and wake time in such a way that will bring these results. Instead, parents have to take control of their babies' schedules--training their babies to know the difference between day and night and providing them with a predictable and steady schedule.

Another premise of the book is that teaching your baby these skills--to sleep all night and to take routine, predictable naps during the day--will result in a happy baby. And I can attest to that. All three of my babies have been really happy babies, and I am convinced that Babywise has had a lot to do with that. (Aren't we more pleasant, cheerful, and awake as adults when we routinely get good sleep? Same goes for babies!)

I will insert a disclaimer in here to say that I know Babywise isn't for everyone. My point in writing this post really isn't to convince parents who aren't using Babywise to begin using it. My reason for writing it is just to give some guidelines and tips for anyone who may already be interested in it but doesn't really know where to start. Or for someone who maybe doesn't even have kids yet and has never even heard of Babywise...just to lay it out there as an option for the future. :)

So here's what Aaron and I have basically done with all three kids. It isn't exactly the same as what you'll find in the book, but it's what worked for us.

1. For the first week of the baby's life, I worked on giving my baby full feedings. That means that the baby is not just "snacking" on milk all day long. Instead, when the baby is hungry, I do whatever I can to keep the baby awake for a good, substantial feeding. For our bottle-fed babies, that meant at least an ounce of milk at each feeding (if I remember correctly). For our breast-fed baby, that meant at least 30-45 minutes of nursing at each feeding. By the end of the first week, my babies were all getting full feedings, and that meant that they were wanting to eat about eight times each day...perfect for step number two!

2. For the second week of the baby's life, I would establish a schedule of eat/wake/sleep for the baby during the daytime hours. While the focus in week one was just to give full feedings, the goal in week two is to keep the baby awake for awhile after each daytime feeding. By following the same pattern of eat...then awake time...then sleep time throughout the day, the baby begins to learn to go to sleep on his/her own, since sleep time follows wake time. If sleep time would follow eating time, then the baby would get into a habit of always needing to be nursed/fed to sleep.

Also, establishing this eat/wake/sleep schedule for the baby throughout the day begins to teach him/her the difference between night and day. The baby begins to learn that during the day, he/she always has some awake time after they eat. At night however, the pattern is just eat/sleep/eat/sleep/eat/sleep. So by the end of week two, the baby's body will get used to these two different patterns (eat/wake/sleep during the day and eat/sleep at night) and the baby will gradually begin to stretch out the sleep times at night.

To keep my babies on the same schedule every day in order to establish a predictable routine for them, I do something that many moms may not do...I wake them up from their naps if they are still sleeping when it is time for their next feeding. I also feed them at the same times every day. So here is what one of my babies' schedules probably looked like at the end of week two:

Eat                          Wake                          Sleep
7:00 am                    7:30 am-8:30 am          8:30 am-10:00 am
10:00 am                  10:30 am-11:30 am      11:30 am-1:00 pm
1:00 pm                    1:30 pm-2:30 pm         2:30 pm-4:00 pm
4:00 pm                    4:30 pm-5:30 pm         5:30 pm-7:00 pm
7:00 pm                    7:30 pm-8:30 pm         8:30 pm-10:00 pm
10:00 pm                  ------                          10:30 pm-1:00 am
1:00 am                    ------                          1:30 am-4:00 am
4:00 am                    ------                          4:30 am-7:00 am

3. The next step is to drop one of the night feedings, so instead of feeding them at 1:00 am and 4:00 am, you would just feed them at 2:30 am. Most babies will drop this feeding on their own (by simply sleeping until 2:30 instead of waking up at 1:00). All three of my kiddos dropped that feeding on their own (Ivy and Abel dropped that feeding around two weeks old. Israel dropped it around two months old...we fed him every three hours around the clock for the first two months of his life because he was a preemie.)

4. After that, the goal is to drop the other middle of the night feeding (the 2:30 am one). Again, most babies will drop it on their own if you are keeping a consistent daytime schedule. Ivy and Abel both dropped this one on their own and started sleeping eight hours a night consistently between seven and eight weeks old. Israel had to be trained to drop this feeding, because he kept waking up for this feeding out of habit until he was three months old. After only two or three nights of letting him cry (I think he cried for 20-30 minutes maybe), he began sleeping through that feeding as well.

I guess those are some of the basics of how we implemented Babywise...for the first eight weeks or so of a baby's life. There is a lot more to it after those first eight weeks (beginning to drop daytime feedings, stretching the night time out to 12 hours, etc.), but in my opinion, those first eight weeks are the most crucial for establishing a pattern of discipline and consistency for my babies. I think it also really sets them up to be good sleepers later on in childhood, too. Ivy and Israel are extremely consistent in their naps and nighttime sleeping still. They also go to sleep on their own and without crying...we just lay them down in their cribs awake for every nap and every night. (And by the way...we do love to hold and rock our babies...we just don't rock them to sleep.) :)

Here's the breakdown of the sleeping patterns of each of my kiddos:

Ivy
-began sleeping through the night at seven weeks old
-began sleeping 12 hours per night at nine weeks old
-currently takes a three hour nap every day
-currently sleeps 12 1/2 hours each night

Israel
-began sleeping through the night at about three and a half months old (again...we didn't let him drop any nighttime feedings for the first two months because he was a preemie.)
-began sleeping 11 hours per night at four months old
-currently takes a one and a half hour nap each morning and a two and a half hour nap each afternoon (total of four hours each day)
-currently sleeps 11 1/2 hours each night

Abel
-began sleeping through the night at eight weeks old (yay!)
-currently takes four naps each day (one and a half hours each=six hours of naptime each day)

So that's our story with Babywise. It has really worked for us! I'm certainly not an expert, but I would so love to attempt to help anyone who needs some advice on how exactly to get their kiddos on a schedule! It makes each day so much easier, because each day is completely predictable. And it would appear that my kids have been set up to be good sleepers throughout childhood!

One last thought--we also like Babywise because it is like laying the foundation for discipline later in childhood. Babywise shows the child on a very basic level that he/she is not the one "in control"--the parent is. Just like when we tell a two year old not to touch a hot stove because we know what is good for him/her, when we help our babies organize their sleeping schedules, we are doing it because we know ultimately it is good for them.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far! Hopefully that all made some sort of sense. :)